Showing posts with label Ari Ne'eman. Show all posts

What Happens To Our Children When We Die? Maine Man Killed Himself and Adult Autistic Son in 2010

"Ginger Taylor  commented on the pressures on families with autism and on the greatest fear of many parents of autistic children: "That is the big question -- what happens to our child when we die. .... We understand their needs better than anyone else. It really breaks my heart hearing what happened to this family. It shouldn't be like that.""

The Portland Press Herald , April 28, 2010

The recent murder and attempted murder/suicide cases involving mothers and their children with severe autism disorders are not the first such tragedies to occur.  Unfortunately the same patterns are unfolding ... the refusal to seriously address the need for decent, humane residential care and treatment facilities for adults with severe autism disorders continues,  the attempts by the TPGA and other ND groups like the ASAN corporation to suppress any discussion of the harsh realities of severe autism disorders and the effects on those who suffer from them and their families are continuing.  No one is speaking about what has to be done to help the severely autistic live a decent life for fear of being subjected to irrational accusations that to do so is akin to excusing or justifying the killings.  David H. Gorski, TPGA ideologues Emily Willingham, Shannon des Roches Rosa, ASAN corporation's Ari Ne'eman and blogger Matt Carey have all been eager to attack Sharyl Atkisson and CBS for daring to portray some of the harsh realities that affected Alex Spourdalakis and his mother.

Television (Big Bang Theory, any number of Criminal Minds police investigative type shows)  and the mainstream media generally, other than CBS and  Sharyl Atkisson and a few other honest conscientious reporters, will continue to portray autism as a quirky, brilliant set of personality traits, an alternative way of thinking. The majority of autistic adults and ALL severely autistic adults will continue to live in varying levels of residential care IF they are lucky. But if no one provides humane services, help and hope to the families and persons living with severe autism challenges nothing will change and the tragedies will continue.  The TGPA and ASAN corporate crowd can pretend otherwise but we have to speak up now and provide service now to prevent further tragedies.  We know this because it has happened before and nothing was done.  Below is my blog comment from 2010 concerning the man in Gray, Maine who shot and killed himself and his 22 year old autistic son:

Dennis Hoey of  The Portland Press Herald  reports that a man in Gray, Maine shot and killed himself and his 22 year old autistic son yesterday:

"A father shot and killed his autistic son Tuesday at their home on Yarmouth Road before turning the rifle on himself, Maine State Police said. Cumberland County sheriff's deputies found the bodies of Daniel McLatchie, 44, and his son, Benjamin McLatchie, 22, in the family's driveway at 227 Yarmouth Road around 2:30 p.m.  ... State police Sgt. Chris Harriman said ...  it appeared that Daniel McLatchie was upset about what would happen to his autistic son after he and his wife died. He was a stay-at-home father, Harriman said. Daniel McLatchie's wife, Allison McLatchie, 45, was at work when the shootings happened."

Ginger Taylor the Maine author of the Adventures in Autism blog, and herself the mother of an autistic son, was interviewed and  notes the lack of services including counseling services for families with autistic children.  Ms Taylor commented on the pressures on families with autism and on the greatest fear of many parents of autistic children:

"That is the big question -- what happens to our child when we die. .... We understand their needs better than anyone else. It really breaks my heart hearing what happened to this family. It shouldn't be like that."

Many people will undoubtedly condemn Daniel McLatchie for taking his son's life.   Some will call for more services.   Few, if any, will take the real action necessary to ensure that people  with autism disorders like Benjamin McLatchie have a decent place to live when their parents are dead.    

Few, during Autism Awareness Month, and certainly not Hollywood or the main stream media giants, will look beyond the  accomplishments of a few High Functioning media celebrity "autistics" to  even acknowledge the existence of severely autistic persons living desperate lives in institutional facilities.  Even fewer will acknowledge, without mocking or attacking them, the fears of parents  obsessed with worry about what will happen to their children after they die. 

In the end, whether it is at the hands of a distraught parent, or from life in prison like, psychiatric hospitals, it is the most vulnerable, the most severely affected by autism disorders who suffer from lack of reality based autism awareness and support services.

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The Harsh Reality End of the Autism Spectrum

If you believe IACC Neurodiversity advocates  present and past,   Ari Ne'eman and Matthew Carey,  autism is not something that should be cured.  You won't see much about the harsher aspects of life with autism disorders if you read their writings. In their view autism is nothing more than a different way of thinking, not a ...  disorder ... or group of challenging symptoms for which cures are needed.

No, the enlightened  Neurodiversity thinkers who are selected to represent the mythical "autism community" at the IACC see autism in the image of the members of the ASAN Board of Directors, researchers who work with Dr. Laurent Mottron or successful entrepreneurs.  For them, and other ND True Believers,  autism's greatest horror occurs on those rare occasions when a media outlet like Slate presents a perspective of a parent whose child presents with autism, intellectual disability and seizures, to say nothing of serious self injurious behavior or unintended aggression toward family and others who actually care for them.

I was surprised today to see CNN present a video of a family using marijuana to alleviate their son's very serious self injury.  Below is the video as shown on KPTV 12 Portland, Oregon  showing some painful realities from the harsher, severe end of the autism spectrum, far away from the irrational ideology of the Neurodiversity advocates who misrepresent autism to the world:


Following is a video From Kim Oakley a gutsy, honest mother of a severely autistic son with epilepsy and author of the blog Autism, Epilepsy and Self-Injurious Behavior, also much different from the high functioning autism of  media stars,  academics and ASAN corporate directors:

 

In the DSM5 the APA is continuing the process of eliminating the intellectually disabled and most severely challenged from the autism spectrum.  They are reducing the intellectually disabled from the vast majority of the autism spectrum pre-DSM-IV to the small segment that IACC Neurodiversity rep Matthew Carey falsely presents to the world.  

This forced removal of the intellectually disabled from the autism spectrum will not help them. It will not aid us in understanding why persons with symptoms of autism, intellectual disability and epilepsy are so prevalent in association with each other.  It is not based on "science".  It is intellectually dishonest. It is cold indifference to the realities of severely autistic children and adults. 

Autistic children and mothers were once hurt by the unsubstantiated cold mothers theories of Kanner and Bettleheim. Today it is in fact parents who know of the realities facing their severely autistic children far better than the academics and Neurodiversity ideologues who are once again banishing them from sight.  

Today the real cold parents are the clinical and research professionals who are supposed to help autistic children but are abandoning those most in need of their help. They are, to borrow the APA expression, cleaving meat loaf at the joints. they are cleaving from their sanitized spectrum those who present with the most challenging autism symptoms. 

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Michigan Daily Promotes Harmful, Irrational ASAN Anti-Cure Ideology

In Autism as an identity, not a disease Michigan Daily editor Jennifer Xu  pushes the harmful Neurodiversity ideology that autism is not a disease or a disorder but an identity that should be embraced and promoted.  This self promoting ideology in fact is used to interfere with and obstruct efforts by parents seeking treatment and cure for their child's autism disorders.  Ms Xu and the Michigan Daily have, with this lengthy, one sided, article misrepresented autism disorders, particularly severe autistic disorders and the impairment they inflict on the children and adults who suffer from them.

"Autism as an identity, not a disease" features very high functioning university English professor Melanie Yergeau who serves on the board of directors of the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, an organization composed of very high people on the autistic spectrum who promote Neurodiversity perspectives which present autism as a variation not a disorder. Ms Xu does not meaningfully present the other side of the argument by referring to the great number of persons with autism disorders, most diagnosed as children (unlike either Ms Yergeau or her founding ASAN member Ari Ne'eman whose "autism" symptoms were so mild as to escape attention until their college or adult years) for whom the challenges of autism disorders are much more serious than those faced by Ms Yergeau. 

Many children, like my son diagnosed 14 years ago at age 2, were diagnosed early because their symptoms were severe and obvious. Unlike Ms Yergeau or Mr. Ne'eman autism is very serious for most of these children and will include cognitive challenges, limited communication verbal or otherwise, self injurious behaviors and lives spent in residential care of one level or another. For Ms. Yergeau, Mr. Ne'eman and their fellow ASAN Board of Director members autism may be just an identity to be embraced. If it is not actually a disorder for them, if it does not actually limit their daily functioning or prevent them from becoming professors, corporate directors, media celebrities or otherwise impair their lives why then did they accept a medical disorder diagnosis of autism or Asperger's in the first place. 

Parents fighting to help their severely autistic children face many obstacles. One of the most obnoxious of such obstacles is the harmful ideology of ASAN Directors and other very high functioning autistic persons who feel the need to own the medical label which they embrace while telling the world it is not in fact a medical disorder. Not content to seek awareness of their specific high functioning autism realities they pretend to speak on behalf of others, including other peoples children, who are much more severely affected than they. They make public efforts to interfere with the efforts of parents seeking cure and treatment for their own severely autistic children. 

The Michigan Daily's benevolent portrayal of this harmful Neurodiversity ideology is shameful, irresponsible journalism.

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Autism, Killarney Lake and The Conor Gift





Last night there were no pictures taken but Mom and Dad were walking the trail around Killarney Lake on either side of Conor when he put his arms through each of ours and walked along  looking back and forth at Mom and Dad with a huge smile, even a bit of a giggle at times. Loads of affection for his Mom and Dad.  It is the Conor gift.

Conor will not be featured in a highlight reel of autistic young people performing amazing feats.  He will not be going to work at Dr. Laurent Mottron's lab as one of his allegedly "typical" autistic persons.  He will not stand before national media organizations in Washington, serve on US national committees or pose for the New York Magazine and tell the world that autism is a personal identity not a disability.  

The pictures above have been posted on this blog site for some time.  The picture of Conor by himself is from one of his favorite spots ... Killarney Lake.  The other two show Conor's amazing smile which, by itself, is always a gift for Mom and Dad.    Despite Conor's type of autism, the actual disability/disorder type, he brings great joy to his Mom and Dad as he did last evening at Killarney Lake. His autism, unlike Ari Ne'eman's, is a disorder and his smile is not a gift brought courtesy of his autism disorder.  It is the Conor gift. 

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Autism Functioning Levels Are Important, Reality Based Distinctions, It Is Time To STOP Pretending They Do Not Exist


There are people whose opinions about autism are sought out by members of the media who promote the falsehood that there is no such thing as people who are low-functioning. Those who promote this falsehood should STOP doing so and they should stop right now. They are causing harm. 

We do not do any favors for persons who are severely affected by disorders like autistic disorder, those who have serious intellectual deficits and lack the ability to function independently, by making statements denying that some persons with autism are low functioning because of their autism.  We are hurting them by denying their reality and by assigning blame to them and family members because they do not meet  the high standards of those less severely affected, if at all, by autism. Under the DSM5's new Autism Spectrum Disorder persons who lacks functioning deficits in everyday life activities should not receive a diagnosis  and should not be described as autistic. The proposed wording of the New Autism Spectrum Disorder, despite some questionable components, does make the functioning issue clear in Criterion D of the 4 mandatory criteria to meet an ASD diagnosis:

"D.         Symptoms together limit and impair everyday functioning."

The three categories in the New ASD are distinguished based on functioning levels:

"Level 1 Requiring Support


Level 2 Requiring Substantial Support 


Level 3 Requiring Very Substantial Support "

Being positive about facing challenges should not be taken to the extreme of denying that many people have disorders that in fact render them low functioning even to the extent of being dependent on the care of others in order to live. J E Robison, Alex Plank, Ari Ne'eman, Michelle Dawson and most, if any,  of the members of the Board of Directors of ASAN Inc. do not share the deficits, the low functioning levels, of the 80% of persons with Autistic Disorder (DSM-IV) who have intellectual disabilities.  These successful business people, college graduates, researchers and political participants, some who have sufficient communication skills and social abilities to be able to play in rock bands, find marriage partners, raise families, and participate in high level political and corporate environments do not share the challenges faced by the low functioning persons with autistic disorder whose realities they downplay or deny entirely.  The great irony is that it is on THE Spectrum, Autism Spectrum Disorder, where you find persons with an incredibly wide and disparate range of abilities, deficits and challenges that we are most likely to find people denying that functioning levels matter or even exist.

The attempt to deny the importance of different functioning levels among persons with Autism Spectrum Disorders should STOP right now.  It hurts those most severely affected by autism.

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Low Functioning Autism Reality and Autism Posers at New York Magazine


New York Magazine Says Aspergians and High Functioning Autistics, like 
Ari and Alex Shown Posing for their NY Magazine Coronations,   who Socialize
with Washington Pols and NY Media, Drive Land Rovers, Produce  Videos
with Autism Speaks; and Argue with Experts at IACC  Meetings 
Represent, and Speak for, People with Autism

Many parents and siblings of persons with low functioning autism might  disagree

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I received the following email from Wanda James in the Upper Ottawa Valley and post  it with her consent. It is important for those who have children and siblings who are severely affected by autism disorder to speak out and be heard.


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"Hello

I'm so glad to have found you if only because I've been searching the web endlessly and just about ready to pull my hair out reading about all these high-functioning socially inhibited "disabled" people. It was a relief to find someone who understands the true nature of autism and what it entails.

I'm desperately trying to find some info for my mother who is caring for my severely autistic 39 year-old sister. My parents are elderly now and have no idea what will happen to Jennifer when they go. No one in the immediate family can take her-- she is very hard to handle- very self-destructive and obsessive to the point of violence if the ritual is disrupted.  I've been searching for anything to give them hope that there is something out there but I can't find anything except a lot of people who are rejecting help because they don't want autism to be seen as a disadvantage. Makes me so mad. I joined a forum just to "let them have it" but I guess I ran out of steam.  I've got to choose my battles carefully these days. My parents are a bit isolated on a farm in the upper Ottawa Valley in Eastern Ontario so there's not much of a network there. I just wanted to be able to give them some hope that there are programs out there. Except there aren't any. Autism Ontario and the Autistic Society seem to be lobbying the government for lower priority things, like camps for kids, publications, workshops, theatre groups, raising awareness etc.-- and nothing for actual bricks and mortar housing or the staff to put in them. They closed down the only place we had here in Ontario for severely disabled people because they deemed it too "institutional" and not efficient. They then went on to open some prototype group homes which all failed because the people living in them weren't as independent as the government assumed they'd be. Why are governments usually made up of idealistic morons? Don't get me started! : )

I'd like to know how you are doing with getting the message through to governments, etc. I would be lobbying on the Hill if I could, but I'm disabled myself with pretty severe rheumatoid arthritis. I share the sense of fear my parents have and there don't seem to be any answers. Meanwhile, autism has become a trendy thing to have-- and suddenly everybody has it if they so much as stare into space for 5 seconds. I could not believe some of the forums. One woman said she was okay in social situations, but nervous in interviews! Well, duh. Who isn't? But the danger here is the "watering down" of the impact of autism on a person's (and) family's) life. It clogs up the system, driving the numbers up which governments take into account when they are doling out assistance. In the end, the people who really need the help, don't get it. It's much the same with arthritis. Everybody I meet has it-- in a thumb, wrist, whatever. They take a Tylenol and they're fine. But I will be having chemo next month to help eradicate mine. I've got 3 artificial joints and tendon repairs. I've been on some pretty life-threatening medications. But it's hard to be taken seriously, because "hey, my aunt has arthritis, and she can still work". That's why I wrote the book Getting Up is Hard to Do: Life with Rheumatoid Arthritis- to try to get the message out there. Now I've got to fight for my sister. I don't know how to deal with this.

Hope you don't mind me writing.

Take care

Wanda James
Ottawa

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If you have read this blog on occasion you will know that I try to being attention to those who are typically ignored by the mainstream media that fawns over such "autistic" persons as Ari Ne'eman, John Elder Robison, Alex Plank and Amanda Baggs ... all people of considerable intellect and high functioning abilities,  people whose "autism" has little if anything in common with my  severely autistic son diagnosed with autistic disorder by three pediatricians with autism expertise and assessed by an autism specialized clinical psychologist and professor emeritus.  Those for whom autism is a "social" disorder, a different way of thinking or a "culture" do not face the autism reality faced by my son.

Occasionally I hear from parents or other persons with a loved one with  low functioning autism who face challenges similar to my son.  Like me they are all too aware of the periodic Big Media (CNN, CBC, NYT, Newsweek, New York Magazine etc)  anointment of "new" voices of "autism", of new "leaders" of autism.  Where did Ari Ne'eman come from before the New York Magazine elected him as the "autism self advocate" par excellence? How did IACC, Interagency Autism Co-ordinating Committee, member Ne'eman, diagnosed as a teen with Aspergers, a university student with the social skills to hob nob with US federal and state politicians and make innumerable media appearances, acquire the knowledge and understanding of severe autistic disorders to be able to speak on behalf of people like my son?

Various autism advocacy organizations, including Autism Speaks, have accepted these high functioning, barely autistic, persons as spokespersons for all on the autism spectrum and virtually ignore the realities of those most severely affected by autism. As with media and advocacy groups so too with governments which tend to ignore the most severely affected by autism, the low functioning autistic persons who live out their lives in restricted, archaic mental institutions instead of creating  positive, modernized, secure residential facilities staffed with autism trained personnel and access to badly needed professional. For many governments John Elder Robinson, former rock band musician, successful businessman, author and family man is the face of autism not Bryan Nevins who was left to  swelter to death, unable to remove himself from a hot van in Pennsylvania.  For many governments the face of autism is a high functioning, intelligent and articulate media star not the 50 year old autistic woman who could not speak or convey emotions or pain and who was repeatedly battered and beaten by employees at the PLUS Group Home Inc. residential care facility in Long Island. 

Other parents, and members of families with severely autistic loved ones, know the difference. They know that their children are ignored by media, "autism" advocacy groups, governments, even by the American Psychiatric Association which reduced the percentage of persons with autism AND intellectual disability by expanding the definition of autism disorders in the DSM-IV to include high functioning persons with no intellectual disability.  Meanwhile, the APA is continuing its efforts to ignore and exclude those with low functioning autism disorders by further expanding, and diluting,  the definition of autism in the DSM-5.

 The New York magazine is unlikely to visit  any time soon some of the institutions  and facilities like those I have visited or the one in Long Island where a 50 year old autistic woman was abused or the one in Pennsylvania where a young severely autistic man died a horrific death in a searing hot van.  In all fairness though it could be difficult to get some of autistic residents in those facilities to pose  elegantly for some "glam" shots for the New York Magazine.


Those of us with children, siblings and loved ones  severely affected by Autism disorders must continue the fight to better their lives in the face of media, advocacy group and government indifference. 
We have no choice.  Our severely autistic loved ones have no alternative.

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