AUTISM CHILD BEHAVIOR

Some days are great, others are challenging .... and then some just leave me in tears with my hands up in desperation.

I know other Autism parents understand the transitions that happen from one phase to another. Whether its a new skill, a new routine, a new season, a busy week, a sickness , a loud noise, a new food (.... the list goes on and on) we are constantly needing to be on our toes and ready to deal with the next reaction . Good or bad.


These past several weeks have not been easy for Avery but now that there is a glimmer of light at the end of the screaming tunnel, I felt I had a minute to update this deserted blog.

For reasons I still cant completely  wrap my head around, Avery had been gradually slipping into a state of constant screaming, violence and being incredibly moody and melancholy.
Everything seemed to set him off into a fit and it was affecting the whole house.

At one point I even hit my knees crying because I felt so useless seeing my boy in so much agony while acting out his frustrations violently.

So we went back to the basics of reinforcing any positive behavior , even if he was just sitting nicely doing nothing, he got a reward. When he asked nicely instead of screaming, he received high praise, when he was in a fit we tried our best to ignore it unless he was at the point where he needed to be contained or consoled. We went back to a visual schedule of what he could expect for the day and I was taking data like crazy trying to discern the Antecedent, Behaviour and Consequence for every situation (ABA terminology for trying to figure out the cause of the problem behavior).

Now that he is seeing some routine again and we put school aside for a little bit while I am being more intentional about playing music he likes, I feel I can take a deep breath. Its working. Its slow but its working.


Last night, while Jason was helping me with my some computer issues, I suddenly just started crying and said "You know, somedays I REALLY hate autism". Its not the boy I hate, its not God I hate but its what autism does to my boy that just makes my blood boil sometimes.
I firmly believe he was created to do amazing things and this is not necessarily a curse but actually a blessing in so many ways. But as a selfish mom, I often just have to admit that it stretches me more then I ever thought possible.

I wrote all that for 2 reasons:
1) to vent.
2) to hopefully shine some light for other parents that you are NOT ALONE in this struggle.


This too shall pass and in those flickering moments of his smile I latch on and try to cherish what I am blessed with. It is worth it.