AUTISM CHILD BEHAVIOR

I've been browsing the web on the look out for other blogs of families with Autistic children and there are sooooo many great ones that I think I will have to create a listing of them on another day. (makes mental note)

One unified comment on all of the blogs was this : Christmas is one of the HARDEST times of year in a home with Autism. I knew this was the case in our home but it was very comforting to know that we aren't alone in these struggles.

Why is it harder then any other time of year you ask? Well let me try to shine some light on the current situation in our home (and many others around the world) :

Christmas is full of beautiful lights, lovely music and gatherings of people in malls, Churches and homes as we celebrate the Birth of Christ. Sounds so magical and stirs up happy memories of my childhood. Add the aroma of all the baking and crackling fireplaces and I feel my shoulders relax almost instantly.
However... in the mind of a child who can't handle even small social situations without instruction and is overstimulated by the sound of a vacuum cleaner... Christmas is a horrfying time of unpredictability.
Take Avery for example. He does not like crowds of more then one or two. He is quite content to play by himself or beside another child but it takes great effort and concentration to engage in socializing with more then one person at any given moment (by socializing I mean eye contact, facial expressions, picking up on social cues, conversing and maybe even enjoying the same activity together). Put him in a room with lots of people and he used to literally run and hide or bang his head against any smooth surface since his overworked brain couldn't process it all at once. And that would be in a quiet room with no music, bright lights or new smells. Now imagine what thats like at Christmas time... several days in a row and reliant on other people's schedules and no set time for an escape to unwind. in a word : CHAOS.

Colin is dramatically different in how he deals with social situations but the end result is the same. He gets completely overloaded, overstimulated and literally crashes into a pile of emotions that he doesnt know how to regulate.
To be completely honest .... this is what happens to me now when I find that I can't prepare the way for my children. I anticipate the meltdowns of my children and then I end up having a meltdown of my own. Its an embarassing truth , and no secret to anyone in my immediate family, but I have put so much energy into teaching my children how to cope that I sometimes lose myself in the process.

I find myself making lists of what needs to be done, back up plans and scheduled down times and daily limits of sweets .... just for everybody to keep their heads on straight. Then ... just when I think I've got it all figured out... something changes (you know, because we are HUMAN) and I have to go back to my drawing board.

So when you are all bustling around trying to make Christmas perfect and busy and full of social situations... please remember the autistic child. All he wants for Christmas is attention, understanding and given the down time he needs to cope. Asking any more of him would be like asking somebody to turn into an elephant.

That is my ramble for now. Thanks for trying to decipher it.