AUTISM CHILD BEHAVIOR

After going through an emotionally draining diagnosis process with an Autistic Child (or in our case, 2 seperate diagnosis for 2 seperate children) that involves :
- piles of paperwork where you need to spell out your concerns, your suspicions, the strengths and weaknesses of the child, opinions of friends and teachers etc
-countless appointments with family doctors, pediatricians, development specialists, neurologists and psychologists
- documentation of every "emotional trauma" so that the specialists can distinguish if there is something wrong with your parenting or your parent's parenting ( remember, that just 20 years ago Autism was blaimed on the mother ) .

The LAST thing you want to hear, from a well - meaning friend or family member who has only obseverved the child from a distance, is that YOU , the parents, are mistaken and are trying to label your child unnecessaraly.
 I , unfortunately , do get my share of people saying "he's just shy" or " he's just trying to get attention" or, my personal favorite "There is definitely something wrong with him, but its not Autism".

So let me share some insight , first, to the well meaning friend or family member of ANY autistic child who a) doesn't have a clear idea of what Autism is and b) doesnt live full time with the afflicted child.
- be a supporter right from the beginning. Every parent has a good instinct about their child(ren) and it is your job to support that parent... even if you think they are "over - analyzing". I can tell you from documented research and the numerous parents of autistic children that I speak with weekly that MOST undiagnosed Autistics are not missed by doctors, they are missed by the supporters (teachers, family members) and then miss out on valuable time for resources, therapies and early - intervention. If they are wrong , celebrate with them AFTER they have seen a doctor, dont deter them beforehand. PLEASE.
- remember that every autistic is different and many are not like the movie Rain Man. It has been said that you can fill a stadium with autistics and you would be hard pressed to find 2 that have identical symptoms. You often can't SEE the Autism in a child that isn't severly afflicted and there are sometimes other learning disabilities  and disorders (ADHD,OCD, Epilepsy , Dyslexia etc) that are also very common amoung Autistics and THOSE symptoms may be what is most visable to the non - professional.
- Also, many symptoms of Autism can be rationalized away on their own individually and having one or two "traits" is not cause for concern. Looking at the big picture is what we all need to be looking for.

To the parent of the autistic child:
- DO NOT GIVE UP! if you feel in your soul that something "just isn't right" , do some research (I will be posting a list of common symptoms in the next few days) and get to the root of the problem. It may not be Autism but if you are wrong, your child would rather you be wrong about that instead of you being wrong and NOT exploring the option. I can't begin to tell you how many children and adults are missing out on services (some of them government funded in our province) just because they didn't get a diagnosis by a certain age. If you live in Manitoba and need some names of where to start, please don't hesitate to let me know.